I am a traveler. Did it for six years. This is a poem and mainly the reason why I started traveling. It's about my junkie dad who I've never met actually.This is how the poem goes.
One two three, you learn to say fuck it. A b c d, the lesson is on how to be shit. I'm gonna bleed out on account I'm a child. And abandon the fucker with luck and the intention of to wild. Selfish pig I'll slit your throat. The first time we meet I'll laugh at the reflection at the pool underneath at my feet. A small giggle and a mass of satisfaction, I'll cut off your lips, don't fucking speak I'll feed you word captions. Father dear it was a wonderful time. Twenty three years have I ever crossed your mind? And how sweet a thought of a family, where shit like that doesn't happen to shit just like me. And the story will end with an ever happy conclusion or either the fact that I suffer from delusion. You're a fucking piece of shit human being so go back to the needle and forget the real world you're fleeing. I'm glad you ignored me. I hope you die. I'm tired of living this life without breaking these ties. Your addictions are your first love, so I guess I'll understand. You'll always be the worst fucking excuse of a living man.
Love you pops.
Why did I write that? Because after twenty three years of him being a redneck piece of shit and never paying attention to me or my brother, who just happen to be of an hispanic descent that he accidentally knocked up. My mom's hispanic. He's a racist redneck. He had a mistake. He sent up three of them he didn't want to deal with. That's why I wrote that.
It affected my life where I basically had the no daddy syndrome and I had to go through a lot of abusive relationships just looking for a father figure and I just realized the only father figure I had in my life was my brother. He was the only one that was ever there for me.
Yeah now I married. Very happily married to the love of my life. I'm basically his mother figure cause he is the complete opposite. I have the daddy syndrome. He has the mommy syndrome. His mom left him when he was two years old. My dad left me when I was one. So it's kinda of, we work out that way.
I am completely content with my life right now. What makes me happy you know, I don't have a place to live. I don't have a place to sleep. I don't have any money in my pocket but every day I will wake up and I'm sublimely happy because I have good friends, good people and you know I go through a dumpster and I'm fed.
Jerrica
